China will become a Democracy

Despite having a distinctly prolonged cold spell of late, I couldn't help but notice that over 80% of the time snow was predicted, it didn't. Even when it did, it didn't fall anywhere remotely near the amounts they were predicting.


Just for clarification - they were wrong, most of the time. So as I have done on a previous occasion, lets transplant this situation into the Private Sector...


Mr Useless of Stupid and Pointless Technologies PLC is doing his job of predicting say... estimated cost spend over the next quarter. He thinks he's got it all under control and come th endof the quarter is totally wrong. He then, lets summise, "learnt valuable lessons" about interpreting information and promises the Management Team improved results. Cut to the end of Q2, and he is slightly less wrong than before, but still plain wrong.


Would Stupid and Pointless Technologies PLC do something? You bet, P45's would be issued, Company car collected etc etc. 

And yet, the Met Office consistently provides us with inaccurate information, whilst telling us how much improved it is. 


Well, I draw your attention to this little gem, courtesy of the BBC. 

The UK Met Office is debating what to do with its long-term and seasonal forecasting after criticism for failing to predict extreme weather.

Trés interessant, non?


It goes on...

...the Met Office's seasonal and annual forecasts rely partly on statistical projections, not just computer modelling

 And I'd be interested to know what this statistical projections are, however, this preceeded the above sentence

the Met Office failed to warn of extreme events in their seasonal forecasts because they are employing a computer model based on the assumption of man-made climate change.

 Hah, take that IPCC, if that isn't Yet another bullet in the IPCC coffin I don't know what is.

and then there was this quote from Professor Mobbs (a researcher at the MO)

If you run the (computer) model one year it might not come out right but over 50-100 years you will be able to predict that the climate is getting warmer on average but not if, say, 2031 will be a warmer or a colder year.

 Confirming that yes, they are indeed using AGW as part of their statisical model. Well I'm not surprised in the slightest, but why is it a veritable nobody - a maverick weather forecaster - Piers Corbyn, was able to predict the cold snap?

Also, it comes back to the same bullshit as we currently have with AGW and the Met office, if you predict something for long enough, evenutally you will be right. 

I predict China will become a democracy.


Fuck you Labour.




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Evidence of chaos

Well well....

HM Revenue and Customs failed to answer about 44 million phone calls last year

Despite employing the equivalent of 10,500 full-time staff at a cost of £233m, it still failed to pick up 43% of the 103 million calls received.

Thats because half of them can't speak English and the other half can't be bothered to answer the phone. Imagine... You go to work, your phone rings and you only answer it half of the time.

If you worked in the Private Sector, how quickly do you think you'd be issued your P45?

I know I know, perhaps what we should do is take that model and transpose it over other Gov't Organisations... The Police lets say. Would anything happen then? a few people might die... some people would lose some posessions, but its cool, they're still getting paid.

....we've committed to answering 90% of our calls, the industry standard, at 30% less cost by March 2012.

If you can't answer 43% of your calls now, how do you propose you will answer 90% of the same volume with calls for 30% less cost (AKA less staff)?

I have an Idea.. Indian Call Centres! Its not too much of a stretch to imagine that happening is it?

So now we have 90% of the calls being answered, by people who can barely speak English (Oddly they can fully understand what you say?!), BUT your call was answered.

(And no I'm not racist).

New Policies

Woe betide I should be in control of this Green and Pleasant Land, because there'd be some pretty swift and unrepenting changes that would take place.

I direct your attention here, to the public spending figures for 2009. Lets focus if you will, on the Welfare expenditure:

96.5 Billion Pounds.............. A frankly, astonishing figure. Even taking into account the stark increase in Unemployment, that would still only shave a few Billion off the total.

My first act, would be to introduce this new policy to shake up the welfare system:

Policy 1:
You're pregnant? Your problem.

It seems to me that to deal with the absolute travesty of young teens getting pregnant to get themselves a nice free flat courtesy of the tax payer, that there should be a policy to deal with these first rate slags. Who knows? maybe there'll even be a drop in STDs (hah i bet there wouldn't!)

I mean, who would believe that there are people who aspire to grow up and get pregnant by 16 1/2, get a letter from "Trace' " aka Mum to live in a taxpayer funded property (like Trace'), live on meagre handouts (courtesy of the taxpayer) and look forward to "poppin out anuvver one" in order to get a "pay rise"?

but they do.

Its about time Our tax monies are no longer wasted on slovenly, grubby, weed smoking, teen mother layabouts. 
Why the fuck should I pay for other people's children? I can't even afford to have any of my own!


AND YET I DON'T GET MY WIFE PREGNANT AND SEND HER TO THE COUNCIL FOR "FREE MONEY"


Well firstly that wouldn't work because we're married and I would have to support her. No, instead, we work, we pay our mortgage and buy those things that any working person wants....

So lets look at the highlights of this policy:

• Parents would be made legally responsible for their child and new grandchild(ren)
• No new digs for the "happy family" until tax has been paid into the system for a minimum period (I'll set an arbitrary time value of say, 4 years)
• The father will be held financially responsible for the new child(ren). If no father is submitted on the birth certificate, the parents of the mother will assume this burden (I'm sure they'll be pleased)
  
• The mother will recieve state funded re-education to help her find work
• The mother will have a slightly higher tax free amount on her earnings (to take into account the cost of raising a child)
  
• The father will recieve nothing.
• The "family unit" (should it exist) will recieve subsidised childcare to help them to aquire work.

It seems Draconian, but actually, No.


For far too long the inhabitants of this country have been allowed to live the easy life, living off the majority of the populations tax contributions.


This policy would go hand in hand with my next policy: 


Policy 2:

Asylum? Sorry we're Full.


Now, where would you like to go?


It really is as simple as that. It seems far too tidy that the influx of asylum seekers we get in this country did not stop in any other country, during their trip from their original location.


Well then quite simply, goodbye.


Policy 3:
Unemployment Benefits - sure, however, No recourse to public funds until tax has been paid into the system for a minimum of 4 years.


My wife is a foreigner, from outside the EEC. After we were married and her Temporary Leave to Remain Visa was granted, I looked at the words printed across the top: No Recourse to public funds. Fuck you I thought. My wife pays money into the tax system in this country, and as such, should be subject to the same support as the freeloaders and the EEC migrant workers. So as she wasn't (and now is, not that it has stopped her working and paying into this economy), it seems only fair to institute this policy more generally i.e. For everyone. As we can't have separate laws for EEC Migrants and UK residents (which is fair), lets save ourselves the hassle, and frankly the money, and institute this policy.


Well... all of them


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Time for a change

There is indeed a shroud of darkness combined with the unforgettable stench of bullshit that is hanging over these fair Isles and these two criminals are largely responsible.

Their unflinching resolve to bring this country to war in the midst of wild and unfathomable public over-spending, not to mention a catalogue of other catastrophic failures leaves the majority of the UK citizens (those with the mental capacity to have an understanding of what is going on) scratching our heads in disbelief as we learn, for instance, that to bring this country out of recession, we will infact, be taxed further.

The Communist Party (AKA New Labour) has managed, once again, to completely destroy any shred of credibility the UK had on the international stage. I could go into numerous examples but we can tackle these in posts to come.

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Blogging and junk

Well, I've been getting really interested in blogging of late and have been reading with fervent interest some blogs in particular on a daily basis to see what other interesting things I can learn. Like the old saying goes "you learn something new everyday", I am indeed learning something - however disturbing - daily. So I thought I might join the Blog party and well, here I am.

Of course I would normally be looking at my next putter or a new set of irons or even teeing off, alas, the weather has kind of hampered any sniff of that happening, so why not, it will be an interesting side project of mine and will stop me wasting time on mindless crap.

More Later!

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